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"We travelled together into the east. Always into the east."
- Marius

Forfatter Emne: Vittighedstråden  (Læst 32235 gange)

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Offline mads-wm3

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« Svar #90 Dato: September 08, 2009, 02:41:47 pm »
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hahaha xD

Offline naraziah

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« Svar #91 Dato: September 10, 2009, 10:53:04 am »
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kan ikk huske om jeg har posted den men:

Java er som anal sex....

det fungere på alle platforme

Offline Gumle

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« Svar #92 Dato: September 12, 2009, 05:55:55 pm »
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Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!

Offline alkoholger

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« Svar #93 Dato: September 21, 2009, 12:23:43 pm »
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Hva sagde lil john til mexikaneren?

"que!?!?!?!!!"
« Senest Redigeret: I dag ved 12:28:48 am af Camelo »

Offline PainOf-Life

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« Svar #94 Dato: September 21, 2009, 12:29:28 pm »
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Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bit**."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bit**?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bit**."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BIT**!!!

HAHA

Offline Shorty

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« Svar #95 Dato: September 22, 2009, 04:40:49 pm »
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A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redneck.
The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!

Offline macgyver

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« Svar #96 Dato: Oktober 03, 2009, 11:53:01 am »
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Hvorfor er det altid kogende vand til en fødsel?
Så hvis babyen er dødfødt kan man altid koge suppe.


Hvad er forskellen på en hamburger og en død baby?
Man kommer ikke på sin hamburger før man spiser den.

Offline Shorty

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« Svar #97 Dato: Oktober 05, 2009, 04:50:03 pm »
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A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Offline Znuggle

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« Svar #98 Dato: Oktober 05, 2009, 06:33:24 pm »
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Jeg grinte..
*Glukose

Offline MonsterPool

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« Svar #99 Dato: Oktober 07, 2009, 09:22:56 pm »
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Alle børnene gik uden om hundelorten
Undtaget Michella
Hun troede det var Nutella.

Alle børnene kom ud fra skindfabrikken
Undtagen Bo, Fin og Aske.
De kom ud som sko, skind og taske.

oneby0ne

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« Svar #100 Dato: Oktober 13, 2009, 01:43:23 pm »
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Sandsynligvis nogle der kender disse, men de er stadig gode - http://www.bash.org/?top

Det er quotes fra mIRC, så vidt jeg ved.

Eksempler:
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

Og også den her er ret god:
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

Mange flere i det link.  :)

Offline Engelund

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« Svar #101 Dato: Oktober 14, 2009, 12:11:25 am »
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Sandsynligvis nogle der kender disse, men de er stadig gode - http://www.bash.org/?top

Det er quotes fra mIRC, så vidt jeg ved.

Eksempler:
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

Og også den her er ret god:
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

Mange flere i det link.  :)


Den side er satme god griner :D

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

Offline Camelo

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« Svar #102 Dato: Oktober 14, 2009, 12:51:06 am »
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Haha, great ;D

Offline Znuggle

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« Svar #103 Dato: Oktober 14, 2009, 01:35:12 am »
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Havde ikke læst den første før, var helt flad af grin!
Men ja, bash.org gemmer virkelig på noget af det aller bedste! ;D
*Glukose

Offline mads-wm3

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« Svar #104 Dato: Oktober 14, 2009, 12:20:39 pm »
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selv synes jeg:

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

er genial :)

 


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